Who do you serve? Think on that a minute before you answer.
Recently, a group of Girl Scouts, their leader, and I experienced two very different perspectives on this.
We all serve someone in some capacity. But are we doing it well? Are we doing our best to help them feel that they matter?
Having a service orientation when interacting with people we meet every day, simply makes our day run more smoothly. A side benefit is that it helps them, too!
Is that a selfish, non-altruistic way to view it? Yeah, maybe. But, when we do good for others, we all feel good (Lyubomirsky, 2018) and isn’t that the point of service? Don’t we want others to feel good? Don’t we want others to feel as though we’ve treated them with respect, compassion, and consideration?
Why? Because that’s how we all want to be treated.
All of us could swap stories about times when this didn’t happen to us. That’s not the point.
Right here, right now, what we need to do is start from a service orientation.
Serving others = Doing good = feeling good.
Reference (s)
Lyubomirsky, S (2018). Papers and publications. Retrieved December 8, 2018 from http://sonjalyubomirsky.com/
How do you know when to walk away from a goal you’ve set? What are the red flags that something is about to implode?
The number one sign is that you’re no longer “all in.” Most of us know what that feels like. There’s a nagging voice in your head telling you that whatever you’re supposed to be doing can wait a little longer, or until the next day, or next week.
When that happens, you’ll make excuses that sound so convincing that you begin to allow your goal to slip away.
It can start innocently. Maybe a friend suggests going to a movie when you’re supposed to be going to the gym. You figure, “It’s just this one time.” Then something else comes up around your scheduled gym time and it’s that much easier to say yes.
New habits are a promise you’re making to yourself. They’re a spit on your palm handshake followed by a pinky swear.
You never break a pinky swear.
Every goal you set can be broken down into smaller parts. Each small part is a pinky swear you need to keep.
Things that aren’t tracked, don’t get done.
Grab a calendar put it where you’ll always see it, and make a check mark for every single pinky swear you keep.
Everything we need to know about collaboration we can learn from preschoolers.
If you’ve ever spent more than fifteen minutes around preschoolers, you know that things don’t always go smoothly. But, you also know that they “say it like it is” — from their perspective, of course.
They’re not afraid to “call someone out” for taking their (or someone else’s) crayon. They’re quick to say, “Look at me!” And, they love tattling, which doesn’t seem to disappear for several years.
They’re also skilled in the art of building fast friendships that help them create. And they love creating. It can be anything from a giant train track or lego worlds to skyscrapers made from blocks or long domino structures.
In the beginning, there’s usually a child building independently, but then, another comes along.
“Hey, can I play with you?”
“Yes!” (I swear this happens 9 out of 10 times.)
Off they go to create something fantastic.
Interestingly, there’s little arguing. They settle into their roles: engineer, architect, or storyteller with a single objective — make IT amazing.
And amazing IT is.
How can we work with others to make something “amazing?”
Happiness is a cocktail. The right mix can do wonders for our sense of well-being. But what is the right mix? And can we be happy all the time?
Being happy is fleeting. It’s one of those feelings that ebbs and flows, so to expect to “be happy” all of the time is unrealistic.
But, can we be happy more often?
Yes! Here’s the secret sauce (make sure you share this with everyone you meet!)
Engage with other people. Really, truly connect with others.
That’s it. I know, there’s this other dot, but the secret sauce is this one thing. It’s like what Jack Palance’s character said in City Slickers.
So, it’s not so much a cocktail. It’s more like a straight-up shot of Tequila without the worm or headache. (And who wants a headache, anyway?)
Let’s spend a little more time connecting with other people, laughing, crying, and basically being human.
References
Aucubehill (2006, Nov. 15). Finding your one thing. Retrieved December 9, 2018 from https://youtu.be/2k1uOqRb0HU
Berkley Wellness (2018). What is the Science of Happiness? Retrieved December 9, 2018 from http://www.berkeleywellness.com/healthy-mind/mind-body/article/what-science-happiness
Ducharme, J. (2018, Feb. 14). This is the amount of money you need to be happy, according to research. Money. Retrieved December 9, 2018 fromhttp://time.com/money/5157625/ideal-income-study/
Doing good holds the power to transform us on the inside, and then ripple out in ever-expanding circles that positively impact the world at large.
Shari Arison
Do you volunteer your time? Why do you do that? For many of us, we volunteer because there’s a need. And that’s very true. But there’s another reason we do it.
Volunteering, or participating in any good action, makes us feel good. Researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky has studied happiness for years. In her work, she’s identified the association between doing good and feeling good.
You might be thinking, “Why would anyone need to study that?” Go ahead and google, “how to be happier.” You’re going to get about 149,000,000 results. We’re living in a time when people are working more and (generally) earning more but are less happy.
Lyubomirsky says there are three reasons doing good makes us feel good.
When we perform an act of kindness, we feel part of the larger community; we feel part of something bigger than ourselves.
Helping others can relieve the guilt we might have when we feel helpless to respond to truly tragic or horrific acts.
Acts of kindness change how we see ourselves.
Being kind to others in whatever shape it takes, gets us out of our own heads. And that can be a very healthy thing.
A simple way to sum this up is:
Social connection + positive feelings + positive thoughts = feeling good because we’re doing good.
Reference (s)
Lyubomirsky, S (2018). Papers and publications. Retrieved December 8, 2018 from http://sonjalyubomirsky.com/
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