Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
Viktor E. Frankl
It was Senior year of high school, if I recall correctly. My memory isn’t what it used to be, but then, no one’s really is. Memory is like a file cabinet with a false bottom. But that’s a discussion for another post.
Back to high school circa 1987-88. The subject? Psychotheology.
Psycho what, now?
I had no idea, but it was an honors-level religion class and sounded a lot more interesting than any of my other options.
There are only three things I remember about the class.
The teacher was new and her enthusiasm for the subject was a bit frightening.
We had to journal every day, and our teacher read the journal.
We read Viktor Frankl’s, Man’s Search for Meaning.
Robert Frost wrote several amazing poems, but in sixth grade I was forced to memorize a stanza.
I shall be telling this with a sigh, somewhere ages and ages hence, two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.
Not too shabby X number of years later, huh? (No, I didn’t look it up. Sr. Theresa was serious about her poetry lessons.)
Back to Viktor Frankl…
I still have the book. It wasn’t logotherapy that caught my attention; I had no clue what he was talking about back then.
What captured my mind and heart were the words he used to describe his experience and the experience of those around him.
There was hope amidst tremendous tragedy.
Throughout the years, his book has come up in various conversations while I’ve pursued my master’s. And each time I tell myself, “You should read it, again.”
But I don’t.
I don’t think I ever will.
For me the lesson was about hope, resilience, compassion, and understanding who really has the power in a seemingly hopeless situation.
Humor can help us in many situations. Norman Cousins, famous for using belly laughter to cure his illness in 1964, believed this. He’d watch episodes of Candid Camera and other comedic performances.
In his book, Anatomy of an illness as perceived by the patient (1979), he outlined his self-imposed prescription for what doctors said he had a 1 in 500 chance of beating. Laughter was a key ingredient.
True, Cousins viewed himself as the eternal optimist, and that also probably had a hand in his recovery.
But humor still was essential.
Take a look at Andrew Tarvin’s research into how humor can help all of us. Oh, and I dare you not to laugh.
If you always put limit on everything you do, physical or anything else. It will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.
Bruce Lee
When do you feel strongest mentally? Is it while you’re watching TV?
Probably not.
Most of us feel strongest when we’re being challenged. When our skills are being tested and the goal is just outside our reach, but we believe it’s attainable, we feel strong.
Every step we take moves us closer to conquering the test. Our confidence grows. Our understanding of whatever we’re trying to tackle increases.
We stumble, but we see a breakthrough on the horizon, and it’s not too far. We keep going. This is flow.
It’s timeless.
Will there be plateaus as Bruce Lee said? Yep.
But if you want to experience a greater sense of well-being and happiness, you’ll find ways to reach, and stay in, flow.
Happiness is fleeting. Many researchers believe we have a set-point for happiness that, of course, varies person-to-person.
If that’s true — if all we can hope for are momentary moments of happiness, then why bother being concerned with it?
Because happiness feels good. It’s also primarily a brain function.
We experience surges of happy chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins when we do particular activities.
For example, how do you feel after a good workout? Those are endorphins kicking in.
When you cuddle with someone you love, how do you feel? Thank oxytocin for that. It’s sometimes even called the cuddle hormone.
When you accomplish a goal you get a rush of dopamine as a reward. You might even get a hit of serotonin, depending on the goal you accomplished. If it involved exercises like running, biking, or yoga, then BONUS! Oh, and massage, that increases serotonin, too!
The point is, who cares if we have a set-point for happiness when you know there are activities you can do to increase those happy brain chemical experiences?
If you think dealing with issues like worthiness and authenticity and vulnerability are not worthwhile because there are more pressing issues, like the bottom line or attendance or standardized test scores, you are sadly, sadly mistaken. It underpins everything.
Brene Brown
What does it mean to be authentic?
Most of us would agree that it means being true to ourselves. True to our values and beliefs.
Which self are we talking about?
Is it the self that we present to our family, friends, colleagues, clients, boss, the people in our church, temple, or other place of worship?
Who is this “self” who is authentic?
When we experience a disconnect between those worlds, our happiness and sense of well-being decreases. We feel off balance.
Until we bring the divide closer, or better still, eliminate it, we’ll continue feeling like a boat pushed by waves without an anchor.
Values are anchors embedded deep in our consciousness. They guide our thoughts and actions.
If we allow them to.
Being authentic means walking your walk. Talking your talk. And doing all of it with conviction.
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