by KDMiller | Happiness and Well-being
If you think dealing with issues like worthiness and authenticity and vulnerability are not worthwhile because there are more pressing issues, like the bottom line or attendance or standardized test scores, you are sadly, sadly mistaken. It underpins everything.
Brene Brown
What does it mean to be authentic?
Most of us would agree that it means being true to ourselves. True to our values and beliefs.
Which self are we talking about?
Is it the self that we present to our family, friends, colleagues, clients, boss, the people in our church, temple, or other place of worship?
Who is this “self” who is authentic?
When we experience a disconnect between those worlds, our happiness and sense of well-being decreases. We feel off balance.
Until we bring the divide closer, or better still, eliminate it, we’ll continue feeling like a boat pushed by waves without an anchor.
Values are anchors embedded deep in our consciousness. They guide our thoughts and actions.
If we allow them to.
Being authentic means walking your walk. Talking your talk. And doing all of it with conviction.
Can it be scary sometimes?
You bet.
Do we need to do it?
Without a doubt.
by KDMiller | Self-Management
“My philosophy is that not only are you responsible for your life, but doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.”
~ Oprah Winfrey
Life isn’t about what others have done to us, and not even what they’ve done for us.
Life is about how we respond to or handle what we perceive others have done to us or for us.
Radical ownership is taking full responsibility for our thoughts, words, and resulting action or inaction.
It’s understanding our values and allowing those values to guide all that we think, say, do, or don’t do.
Is it always easy? Nope.
Will there be times when you want to blame someone for where you are or what’s happening in your life? Yep.
Living your values 100% of the time is a growth process. Sure there are some people who it appears have done this since birth, but that’s rare.
Most of us have to develop over time, learn as we go, fall down, and then pull ourselves back up. If we’re fortunate, though, we’ve surrounded ourselves with people moving in the same direction.
If we’re very fortunate, we have guides who are already living their values.
This is how you can jump-start the process:
- Step 1: Be honest with yourself
- Step 2: Use an assessment to help you uncover your values if you’re struggling to articulate them
- Step 3: Focus on one value each week. Lead and follow with it.
- Step 4: Journal about your values.
How will you take radical ownership of your day today?
by KDMiller | Happiness and Well-being
“Nothing is so contagious as an example. We never do great good or great evil without bringing about more of the same on the part of others.”
~ La Rochefoucauld
You’ve had a crappy day. You come home and yell at your spouse for something you know is irrational. She or he snaps at your kids. The kids get annoyed with the dog.
Too cliche?
Maybe, but it’s true.
We need to own our feelings. Emotions are a necessary part of life. They aren’t right or wrong, they just are.
What we can’t do is allow our negative emotions to infect others like cancer. It’s okay to be angry. It’s not okay to express that anger in a way that hurts someone else. It’s awesome to feel joy. Feel free to express that to others — unless joy isn’t where they are in that moment.
Emotions are tricky. Navigating when and where to express them so that others benefit rather than get hurt by them is even trickier.
by KDMiller | Personal Development
“The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up.”
~ Paul Valery
I’ve spent a few days writing about goals (not resolutions that usually get broken by February.) But our goals really start out as dreams, right?
If you’re someone who hasn’t spent much time goal-setting, or you’re someone who tries tackling too many goals and only accomplishing a few or none, then I’d like you to take a few steps back.
It’s time to dream and the start of a new year is the perfect time for it!v
Grab a notebook or blank piece of paper. We’re going to borrow Warren Buffet’s 5/25 idea, but not in its entirety. Write down 25 goals. Don’t categorize them, just write. Review your list and circle 5 that you want to focus on this year.
Now choose 1.
For that one goal, get another piece of paper, but one without lines. Draw the outcome of reaching that particular goal.
For example, if you’re a writer who wants to publish a book, you might draw yourself being interviewed by someone you admire.
Remember the details. What’s the name of your book? Is the interviewer holding it for all to see? Where are you being interviewed? When did the interview happen? Use color to make your dream come alive on the paper.
This final step is really a matter of preference. Some people like keeping their drawing somewhere they can always see it. Others tuck it away.
What’s important is doing the exercise because now the outcome is planted in your brain. It’s a seed waiting to be watered. How do you water it?
Every time you do something related to that dream, your seed becomes stronger.
Let’s look at the writer, again. Maybe you’ll take a writing class. Maybe you’ll join a critique group or attend a conference where you learn how to pitch your idea. Those actions are fertilizer and water for your seed.
All of the actions you choose to take can only be done when you wake up.
by KDMiller | Happiness and Well-being
“There’s a myth that time is money. In fact, time is more precious than money. It’s a nonrenewable resource. Once you’ve spent it, and if you’ve spent it badly, it’s gone forever.”
~ Neil A. Fiore
Schedule the critically important events. What does this mean?
Simple. Schedule those things that relate to your audacious goals. If your family isn’t included, then make sure you add time for them. If you don’t have a family, but you do have friends then fill in that gap and schedule time for them. If you have both, juggle.
Why? Because we need to pursue those activities that fill our soul, and we also need positive, healthy relationships while we do it.
No one lives or succeeds in a vacuum. That would be lonely.
