A one-step deep-dive analysis to get you back on track
Do you feel like your life has gotten a bit off track? Here’s how to rediscover your ‘why’ and feel more satisfied every day.
For most of us, our ‘why’ acts as an internal compass. When we know and use it every day to guide
The trend for the past several years, perhaps sparked by Simon Sinek’s Ted Talk, “How great leaders inspire action,” is to find our ‘why.’
But for those of us who aren’t young whippersnappers, it’s not about finding it; It’s about rediscovering it.
After getting caught up in our careers and starting families, sometimes our ‘why’ gets pushed into a corner, beneath a table, covered with a table cloth, and collects dust.
It’s not intentional. It just happens.
One day you wake up and realize that you don’t know why you’re still in a job you hate, or an industry that no longer aligns with your values.
What you do know is that it’s sucking the life out of you. You’re thinking about jumping ship, but your family counts on you. What are you supposed to do?
This is where rediscovering your ‘why’ is important.
How I rediscovered my ‘why’
There’s something about your late forties that causes you to stop and take stock. I’ve been doing that a lot the past few years. After deciding to close our tea business and pursue something new, I discovered that I was lost.
I couldn’t figure out my ‘why.’ It took a few years of solid work to recognize that it had been there all along. What I needed to do was rediscover my ‘why’ not find a new one! Here’s what I realized:
My mission is to positively influence others to achieve or exceed their goals one bite-size step at a time.
Kori D. Miller
This didn’t pop into my head overnight. It happened after doing a deep-dive into positive psychology that culminated in earning a graduate certificate from the University of Missouri-Columbia.
Fifteen hours of focused coursework and many more hours studying helped me rediscover my ‘why.’
How you can rediscover your ‘why’
If you’re struggling with rediscovering your ‘why,’ you’ll find it by examing what you’ve done up to this point.
To get started, ask yourself these questions:
- With whom did I spend my time growing up?
- What did I learn from them that I still use today?
- What did I love doing?
- What was I most proud of as a kid?
These questions might seem trivial, but they’re not. If, for example, your answer to “What did I love doing?” is playing video games, then dig a little deeper. What about that activity did you love so much? What did playing games do for you that nothing else did?
If your answer is, “Sports. I loved playing sports.” What made you love it so much?
Maybe when you were growing up you spent time with a few unsavory types. Why? What drew you to them? What pushed you in another direction?
Your goal is to identify themes lurking inside your answers.
For me, I realized that some of my happiest moments came from helping and defending other people. When I taught people something new, or they reached a goal they didn’t believe possible, I felt AWESOME! I also loved using my writing skills to communicate useful information to others.
As I examined the various jobs I’ve done, my 10-year career in training & development, our tea business, and the relationships I’ve had, these themes surfaced again, and again.
So, what could I do in the next phase of my career path that would allow me to do those things now? This is what led me to start Ardent Path and to begin writing about positive psychology.
Your theme-focused mission
After you identify themes, start formulating your ‘why.’ Here are a few guidelines:
- Write a few drafts.
- Play with the wording.
- Keep it to one sentence.
This will become your mission.
Now that you have your ‘why’ written as your personal mission it becomes easier to see where it fits or doesn’t fit into your current career.
For example, I couldn’t see myself doing training and development work in the tea industry. It didn’t even sound interesting to me. Writing about tea wasn’t going to help me fulfill my mission of helping people achieve their goals. After 13 years in the tea industry, I decided to close the business.
But, you don’t have to jump ship like I did.
What could you do in your current job or industry that would allow you to live your ‘why’ more fully? It might not require a job or career change. Maybe you need more or different responsibilities. If that’s the case, then schedule time to talk with your supervisor.
If making changes at your current job won’t work, then where can you express your ‘why’? Maybe you can fulfill your mission through volunteer work. Sometimes volunteering offers much more than the fulfillment of our personal mission. It also can lead to paid opportunities.
After you’ve cleaned the dust from your ‘why,’ and refashioned it into your mission, you’ll be surprised by how many places you can fulfill it.
Patience, contemplation time, and tenacity are all you need to rediscover
What is tenacity?
The quality of being tenacious, or of holding fast; persistence; determination
It’s asking questions until you find the answers you need.
It’s getting up every day, setting goals for yourself, and hitting the ground running.
Tenacious people are resilient. They’ve got grit.
What are you going to tenaciously go after today?
