by KMiller | Dec 13, 2018 | Self-Management
Memories are just stories we tell ourselves about our past, and that’s often why they don’t match when we’ve shared the same experiences with someone.
~ John Slattery
Have you ever experienced a time when you and a close friend (or spouse) are debating about a particular event you both attended, but that you have very different memories of? Me, too.
This happens in part because we’re different people, but also because of how our memories get encoded (stored.) Think of your memory like a filing system. Sometimes stuff gets lost or mixed up because so many people are handling the file.
But, in this case, it’s primarily us handling the file at different ages and stages of our lives.
Each time we dig the file out, we affect the memory so when it gets put back it’s different. Consequently, each time we retrieve it, the memory has changed.
When we construct stories about ourselves, they’re often based on memories that we’ve inadvertently manipulated simply by recalling them time and again.
This is important to remember when we construct the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves OR when we buy into the stories others tell us about ourselves.
Memories are fragile.
by KMiller | Dec 3, 2018 | Self-Management
I know you’ve seen that before. It was all the rage in the mid-to-late 90’s when I entered the training & development field (now called “training & learning.”) But is it true?
From a purely emotional contagion perspective, yeah, it is. And deep down we all know this.
Imagine your day got off on the wrong foot. Maybe you had an argument with a loved one. Maybe your kids were dinking around and made you late. Whatever it was, if you didn’t leave that baggage at the door before entering your work environment, what are the odds that it screwed up the rest of your morning or even your day?
Worse still, how did your attitude negatively affect those around you?
We’re all grown-ups capable of managing our behavior and emotions, but sometimes — let’s be real – we suck at it.
When we allow others to whip our emotions like batter, and mix us all up, who’s ultimately responsible? We’ve got to learn to let some stuff go for the greater good (usually our own sanity) so that we maintain control of our sense of well-being.
This is one lesson worth spreading. If not for own sake’s then for the sake of our children. Emotional contagion – picking up on the feeling state of another person – is real. Mirror neurons have something to do with it. We’re wired to connect with others. We know when something feels off.
And so does everyone else.
If you want to succeed in business, and in life, understanding this is crucial.
