by KDMiller | Self-Management
“My philosophy is that not only are you responsible for your life, but doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.”
~ Oprah Winfrey
Life isn’t about what others have done to us, and not even what they’ve done for us.
Life is about how we respond to or handle what we perceive others have done to us or for us.
Radical ownership is taking full responsibility for our thoughts, words, and resulting action or inaction.
It’s understanding our values and allowing those values to guide all that we think, say, do, or don’t do.
Is it always easy? Nope.
Will there be times when you want to blame someone for where you are or what’s happening in your life? Yep.
Living your values 100% of the time is a growth process. Sure there are some people who it appears have done this since birth, but that’s rare.
Most of us have to develop over time, learn as we go, fall down, and then pull ourselves back up. If we’re fortunate, though, we’ve surrounded ourselves with people moving in the same direction.
If we’re very fortunate, we have guides who are already living their values.
This is how you can jump-start the process:
- Step 1: Be honest with yourself
- Step 2: Use an assessment to help you uncover your values if you’re struggling to articulate them
- Step 3: Focus on one value each week. Lead and follow with it.
- Step 4: Journal about your values.
How will you take radical ownership of your day today?
by KDMiller | Self-Management
Memories are just stories we tell ourselves about our past, and that’s often why they don’t match when we’ve shared the same experiences with someone.
~ John Slattery
Have you ever experienced a time when you and a close friend (or spouse) are debating about a particular event you both attended, but that you have very different memories of? Me, too.
This happens in part because we’re different people, but also because of how our memories get encoded (stored.) Think of your memory like a filing system. Sometimes stuff gets lost or mixed up because so many people are handling the file.
But, in this case, it’s primarily us handling the file at different ages and stages of our lives.
Each time we dig the file out, we affect the memory so when it gets put back it’s different. Consequently, each time we retrieve it, the memory has changed.
When we construct stories about ourselves, they’re often based on memories that we’ve inadvertently manipulated simply by recalling them time and again.
This is important to remember when we construct the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves OR when we buy into the stories others tell us about ourselves.
Memories are fragile.
by KDMiller | Self-Management
I know you’ve seen that before. It was all the rage in the mid-to-late 90’s when I entered the training & development field (now called “training & learning.”) But is it true?
From a purely emotional contagion perspective, yeah, it is. And deep down we all know this.
Imagine your day got off on the wrong foot. Maybe you had an argument with a loved one. Maybe your kids were dinking around and made you late. Whatever it was, if you didn’t leave that baggage at the door before entering your work environment, what are the odds that it screwed up the rest of your morning or even your day?
Worse still, how did your attitude negatively affect those around you?
We’re all grown-ups capable of managing our behavior and emotions, but sometimes — let’s be real – we suck at it.
When we allow others to whip our emotions like batter, and mix us all up, who’s ultimately responsible? We’ve got to learn to let some stuff go for the greater good (usually our own sanity) so that we maintain control of our sense of well-being.
This is one lesson worth spreading. If not for own sake’s then for the sake of our children. Emotional contagion – picking up on the feeling state of another person – is real. Mirror neurons have something to do with it. We’re wired to connect with others. We know when something feels off.
And so does everyone else.
If you want to succeed in business, and in life, understanding this is crucial.
