“The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up.”
~ Paul Valery
I’ve spent a few days writing about goals (not resolutions that usually get broken by February.) But our goals really start out as dreams, right?
If you’re someone who hasn’t spent much time goal-setting, or you’re someone who tries tackling too many goals and only accomplishing a few or none, then I’d like you to take a few steps back.
It’s time to dream and the start of a new year is the perfect time for it!v
Grab a notebook or blank piece of paper. We’re going to borrow Warren Buffet’s 5/25 idea, but not in its entirety. Write down 25 goals. Don’t categorize them, just write. Review your list and circle 5 that you want to focus on this year.
Now choose 1.
For that one goal, get another piece of paper, but one without lines. Draw the outcome of reaching that particular goal.
For example, if you’re a writer who wants to publish a book, you might draw yourself being interviewed by someone you admire.
Remember the details. What’s the name of your book? Is the interviewer holding it for all to see? Where are you being interviewed? When did the interview happen? Use color to make your dream come alive on the paper.
This final step is really a matter of preference. Some people like keeping their drawing somewhere they can always see it. Others tuck it away.
What’s important is doing the exercise because now the outcome is planted in your brain. It’s a seed waiting to be watered. How do you water it?
Every time you do something related to that dream, your seed becomes stronger.
Let’s look at the writer, again. Maybe you’ll take a writing class. Maybe you’ll join a critique group or attend a conference where you learn how to pitch your idea. Those actions are fertilizer and water for your seed.
All of the actions you choose to take can only be done when you wake up.
Never mind goal-setting for now. Let’s focus on something a little easier.
What are three things you’re looking forward to doing in 2019? These can be anything.
Are you going to attend a conference to further your learning? Will you start a business? Will you read one book every month? Spend more time with a specific person? Create a morning ritual?
A new year is all about possibilities, dreams, and visions. By February, it’s about whether or not you’ve begun to execute any of the tasks necessary to propel you toward your three things.
So, look forward. Move ahead. It’s not too late to —
Crack that whip Give the past the slip Step on a crack Break your momma’s back When a problem comes along You must whip it Before the cream sits out too long You must whip it When something’s going wrong You must whip it Now whip it Into shape Shape it up Get straight Go forward Move ahead Try to detect it It’s not too late To whip it Whip it good
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Henry Ford
A new year is just around the corner. What resolutions are you making? Out of curiosity, what’s your success rate at keeping them? Mine was always horrible.
Personally, I’m not a big fan of resolutions and haven’t made any for years. I prefer spending the months of November and December assessing the current year, and then plotting a course for the next one.
Here’s a strategy you can borrow (’cause years ago I’m fairly certain that I borrowed it from someone else.)
Assess the current year. What were your big wins? What didn’t you actually make time to do? Hint: Drop those. You had all year. Unless something extraordinary happened or will happen in January, whatever that was isn’t a priority in your heart.
Choose no more than 3 big goals. Honestly, this is a random number, but having too many goals causes you to spread yourself thin. And, in the habit realm, too many changes make one change virtually impossible.
Write your big goals down, each on its own paper. Title it something fun like, “My BIG Audacious Goal.”
Then, and this is critical — ask yourself these questions:
What baby steps can I take to reach my goal by the end of the year?
Whose help will I need?
What’s my “if, then” plan for those days when things aren’t going the way I’ve hoped?
How will I track my goal?
Who will help hold me accountable to reach my goal?
How will I handle setbacks?
How will I celebrate my small successes?
The key to achieving big goals is breaking them into bite-size pieces that you can gnaw on until they go down smooth.
References:
Mindtools (n.d.) Eight common goal-setting mistakes. Retrieved December 30, 2018, from https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/goal-setting-mistakes.htm
Tedx Talks (2012). Forget big change, start with a tiny habit. BJ Fogg at Tedx Fremont. Retrieved December 30, 2018, from https://youtu.be/AdKUJxjn-R8
“Doing just a little bit during the time we have available puts you that much further ahead than if you took no action at all.”
~ Pulsifer, Take Action; Don’t Procrastinate
Oftentimes we read or watch something that includes the message that we only have 24 hours in a day to accomplish what we want, so we need to get moving, we need to go after “it.”
That number is wrong.
We have the moment we’re in. That’s it. We choose how to spend each of our moments, and if we’re fortunate they add up to a full day.
From this perspective, “it” can’t wait until tomorrow or the next day. If you want to achieve a goal, you have to focus on it in as many moments as possible.
Most of us juggle a variety of commitments. That’s life. But if we really want to achieve the extraordinary for ourselves, we need to remember to include baby steps toward that end throughout the seconds, minutes, and hours we have.
The bamboo that bends is stronger than the oak that resists.
Japanese Proverb
Finish this sentence:
Resilience is ______________________________.
In Rick Hanson’s book, Resilience: Find your inner strength, he outlines 12 primary inner strengths that can be developed. As you grow in each strength your resilience increases.
He categorizes how we fulfill our needs into four areas and identifies three strengths we can nurture in each in order to meet our basic needs for safety, satisfaction, and connection. They are:
Recognizing (compassion, mindfulness, learning)
Resourcing (grit, gratitude, confidence)
Regulating (calm, motivation, intimacy)
Relating (courage, aspiration, generosity)
Being resilient doesn’t involve superhuman powers, a particular skill set, or a high IQ. It does require something Jaime Escalante so eloquently expressed in the movie, Stand and Deliver (1988).
Do you have the desire?
And, it certainly helps if you cultivate a healthy sense of humor.
References:
Hanson, R. (2018). Resilience: Find your inner strength. London: Rider
Movieclips, (2017, June 27). Stand and Deliver: All we need is ganas scene. Retrieved December 27, 2018, from https://youtu.be/A2yqIm58ULo
“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.”
~ Maya Angelou
We don’t know who we are until our metal has been tested. Challenges we experience every day are our test.
When we get knocked down, we all know by now that whether we get back up is what matters. Sometimes, getting back up time and again is exhausting. But this is one way we build our resilience.
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional
Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes.The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
