by KMiller | Jan 4, 2019 | Happiness and Well-being
“Nothing is so contagious as an example. We never do great good or great evil without bringing about more of the same on the part of others.”
~ La Rochefoucauld
You’ve had a crappy day. You come home and yell at your spouse for something you know is irrational. She or he snaps at your kids. The kids get annoyed with the dog.
Too cliche?
Maybe, but it’s true.
We need to own our feelings. Emotions are a necessary part of life. They aren’t right or wrong, they just are.
What we can’t do is allow our negative emotions to infect others like cancer. It’s okay to be angry. It’s not okay to express that anger in a way that hurts someone else. It’s awesome to feel joy. Feel free to express that to others — unless joy isn’t where they are in that moment.
Emotions are tricky. Navigating when and where to express them so that others benefit rather than get hurt by them is even trickier.
by KMiller | Jan 2, 2019 | Happiness and Well-being
“There’s a myth that time is money. In fact, time is more precious than money. It’s a nonrenewable resource. Once you’ve spent it, and if you’ve spent it badly, it’s gone forever.”
~ Neil A. Fiore
Schedule the critically important events. What does this mean?
Simple. Schedule those things that relate to your audacious goals. If your family isn’t included, then make sure you add time for them. If you don’t have a family, but you do have friends then fill in that gap and schedule time for them. If you have both, juggle.
Why? Because we need to pursue those activities that fill our soul, and we also need positive, healthy relationships while we do it.
No one lives or succeeds in a vacuum. That would be lonely.
by KMiller | Dec 31, 2018 | Happiness and Well-being
Authenticity means erasing the gap between what you firmly believe inside and what you reveal to the outside world.
Adam Grant
It’s time to welcome a new year! A new year is an exciting time filled with fireworks, parties, conversation, and hopefully, laughter.
But, why?
Why do we get so enthralled by the ushering in of the new? How different will your life be tomorrow?
Unless you’ve made some decisions to make it different today.
Have fun with family and friends. Say goodbye to the plans that didn’t work, the relationships that caused heartache, and the hand you played in all of it.
Tomorrow is a new beginning.
What are you going to do to make it great?
by KMiller | Dec 29, 2018 | Happiness and Well-being, Meaning and Purpose
“We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing, at whatever cost, must be attained.”
~ Marie Curie
What’s your dream career? What is the one thing you’d do even if no one paid you?
For me, it was training and development work. I spent 10 years teaching people how to find, keep, and move up in their job. In addition to this, I taught “soft skills” and how to provide excellent customer service. When I entered the field I had no idea how much I would love it.
Then I left. There were good reasons for me to leave at the time. I’m sharing this with you because sometimes, we have to take a few steps away or back so that we can see the big picture.
In 2003, I started a tea company from the ground up, became an expert, and enjoyed teaching people about tea and tisanes. But (I bet you saw this coming!) after several years I realized something was missing. It wasn’t until I made the decision to return to school for a master’s degree that I finally figured it out.
I’d walked away from my mission and I felt it in my soul.
What are you walking away from? What’s the gift that you have to share with everyone at whatever cost?
You won’t be content until you return to what your heart is telling you to do.
Will it be easy? Maybe. Will it be challenging? Probably. Will you feel deeply satisfied every time your head hits the pillow because you’re “walking your walk, and talking your talk?”
Absolutely.
by KMiller | Dec 21, 2018 | Happiness and Well-being
Have you ever been around someone so angry or unhappy that you began feeling the same way?
We all have.
Emotions are as contagious as the common cold. We have our mirror neurons to thank for this, but we definitely want those neurons activating! (They’re what help us to be empathetic and compassionate beings. Without them, can you imagine what the world might be like?)
Just not necessarily all the time.
For example, when we’re in a long line at the checkout, and the people around us become visibly annoyed, it would be best for us to put our shields up! In these moments why would we want to be vested in someone else’s annoyance? Are they being mistreated by having to wait in line? Do we want to feel as awful as they apparently do?
We all have a negativity bias so it’s pretty easy to get wrapped up in another person’s ticked off mood. The challenge for us is to recognize what’s happening before it takes over our brains so that we don’t act in a way that just might embarrass us later.
Reference (s)
Inside the Brain (n.d.) Tag: Mirror neurons. Retrieved December 21, 2018, from https://inside-the-brain.com/tag/mirror-neurons/
Marano, H. E. (2016, June 9). Our Brain’s Negativity Bias. Psychology Today. Retrieved December 21, 2018, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200306/our-brains-negative-bias
Positive Psychology Program (2016, December 3). 3 simple steps to overcome your negativity bias. Positive Psychology Program. Retrieved December 21, 2018, from https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/3-steps-negativity-bias/
by KMiller | Dec 17, 2018 | Happiness and Well-being
Vulnerability is about showing up and being seen. It’s tough to do that when we’re terrified about what people might see or think.
Brene Brown
A curious thing happened today. For two weeks I’ve posted a survey in a particular Facebook group with a single question: How would you rate your level of happiness during the past week? Respondents were provided a familiar Likert-type scale. Most of us recognize this kind of rating without knowing its name. In the survey, participants could choose from among the following: excellent, very good, good, not very good, awful. The posting was prefaced with “this is an unofficial and informal survey” so that anyone participating could certainly opt out.
Today someone responded to the post negatively. She went so far as to tell me to “go away.” This made me wonder.
The group’s focus is to have discussion and debate about issues relating to their community. Certainly, one’s level of happiness could fall into this category. The first time I posted, a man inquired as to whether what I was posting applied to the group. After inviting him to investigate my mission, there were no more questions.
What is it about discussing happiness that is so offensive?
Nothing. What it is though is scary. It’s scary for us to open ourselves up to others and admit how happy or unhappy we truly are. That makes us vulnerable.
The woman or an admin removed her comment. That was equally intriguing.
Vulnerability means weakness in the eyes of many, but in this knowledge-based economy, one in which emotional intelligence matters, maybe being vulnerable is the key to a successful, happy life.
