Credit: Swancourt via YouTube: Abbott and Costello
When you’re struggling with a problem, one of the best things you can do is find something to laugh about.
Intuitively, we know this is true.
Laughing reduces stress and anxiety. It gets oxygen flowing (especially the BIG belly laughs that make you cry) and “clears” your head.
Laughter frees our mind and pushes whatever we were stuck processing toward the back. Making our previous unfinished task kind of like a silent movie.
We can’t fully focus on two things at once. This splits our attention. But when we’ve been working on a problem and leave it, our brain doesn’t stop “thinking” about it.
How many times have you experienced an “ah, ha!” moment while doing a task completely unrelated to the one you were actually involved in at that moment?
A lot, right?
If you’re not getting enough laughter in your day-to-day, consider making it a habit.
Schedule time to watch funny movies, videos, or go see a comedian. If you can’t manage that, hang out with your kids (or someone else’s if you don’t have your own.) They’re a guaranteed source of laughter!
In the movie “A Knight’s Tale,” young William queries, “Can a man change his stars?”
Of course this has nothing to do with being male, female, black, white, or all the shades in between.
It’s a question about agency, control, and volition.
Do we have control over our lives and how we choose to live? Most of us can truthfully answer yes.
Do we always act as though we do? Not necessarily.
Radical ownership, which I wrote about here is about agency, control, and volition. At our core, our “heart of hearts,” this is what everyone yearns to experience and possess like a precious gem.
When we have it, it’s something that must be protected, but not hidden.
Once we’ve fought our demons and changed our stars, what’s next? We must pave the way for more to follow.
William kept his gem protected, but then this happened:
Humor can help us in many situations. Norman Cousins, famous for using belly laughter to cure his illness in 1964, believed this. He’d watch episodes of Candid Camera and other comedic performances.
In his book, Anatomy of an illness as perceived by the patient (1979), he outlined his self-imposed prescription for what doctors said he had a 1 in 500 chance of beating. Laughter was a key ingredient.
True, Cousins viewed himself as the eternal optimist, and that also probably had a hand in his recovery.
But humor still was essential.
Take a look at Andrew Tarvin’s research into how humor can help all of us. Oh, and I dare you not to laugh.
If you always put limit on everything you do, physical or anything else. It will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.
Bruce Lee
When do you feel strongest mentally? Is it while you’re watching TV?
Probably not.
Most of us feel strongest when we’re being challenged. When our skills are being tested and the goal is just outside our reach, but we believe it’s attainable, we feel strong.
Every step we take moves us closer to conquering the test. Our confidence grows. Our understanding of whatever we’re trying to tackle increases.
We stumble, but we see a breakthrough on the horizon, and it’s not too far. We keep going. This is flow.
It’s timeless.
Will there be plateaus as Bruce Lee said? Yep.
But if you want to experience a greater sense of well-being and happiness, you’ll find ways to reach, and stay in, flow.
Happiness is fleeting. Many researchers believe we have a set-point for happiness that, of course, varies person-to-person.
If that’s true — if all we can hope for are momentary moments of happiness, then why bother being concerned with it?
Because happiness feels good. It’s also primarily a brain function.
We experience surges of happy chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins when we do particular activities.
For example, how do you feel after a good workout? Those are endorphins kicking in.
When you cuddle with someone you love, how do you feel? Thank oxytocin for that. It’s sometimes even called the cuddle hormone.
When you accomplish a goal you get a rush of dopamine as a reward. You might even get a hit of serotonin, depending on the goal you accomplished. If it involved exercises like running, biking, or yoga, then BONUS! Oh, and massage, that increases serotonin, too!
The point is, who cares if we have a set-point for happiness when you know there are activities you can do to increase those happy brain chemical experiences?
If you think dealing with issues like worthiness and authenticity and vulnerability are not worthwhile because there are more pressing issues, like the bottom line or attendance or standardized test scores, you are sadly, sadly mistaken. It underpins everything.
Brene Brown
What does it mean to be authentic?
Most of us would agree that it means being true to ourselves. True to our values and beliefs.
Which self are we talking about?
Is it the self that we present to our family, friends, colleagues, clients, boss, the people in our church, temple, or other place of worship?
Who is this “self” who is authentic?
When we experience a disconnect between those worlds, our happiness and sense of well-being decreases. We feel off balance.
Until we bring the divide closer, or better still, eliminate it, we’ll continue feeling like a boat pushed by waves without an anchor.
Values are anchors embedded deep in our consciousness. They guide our thoughts and actions.
If we allow them to.
Being authentic means walking your walk. Talking your talk. And doing all of it with conviction.
